Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Window of Hope

Good evening all~~~I'm very tired tonight. Worked a ten hour shift at the pharmacy. It seemed like the phone was never going to stop ringing. Plus the people kept coming in to pick up their scripts. It's amazing how many people are on medication. You see the same faces day after day, picking up their meds. You get to know the faces, and the names. It seems that some customers are there just to have something to do with their time. Lonely people. Widowers. Cancer patients. Support people. Addicts. All different backgrounds.

Once you get to know some of them, you get attached. You watch some go through illnesses for long periods of time. Some, with cancer, for short periods. One morning you will get the news that a customer has reached the end of their struggle with the cancer. Or, that a person has had a heart attack. It's a sad situation there at times.

I can understand why some individuals try not to get too "attached" to patients. It's such a difficult business to be in.

Right now..three women that I know are battling cancer. Three different kinds. I see them lose their hair, and so much weight. I see them change with each treatment they endure.
At first, they are so optimistic. They have one hundred reasons for wanting to beat the disease. Then you watch as they get weaker and weaker. It breaks your heart. Then they stop coming in to the pharmacy. Their family, or support person comes in to get the meds. that are needed. You know in your heart that the end is near for them.

I visited with one woman last week. She was frail, yet still has this optimism that amazes me. She has always been a very hard worker in the family business. Her whole family calls me "honey", and "sweetie" whenever I shop at their farm market and greenhouse. Each day that I go into work, I wonder if the news will be waiting for me that my friend is gone.

Another of the woman was just in three days ago. She looked well as you can be with pancreatic cancer. Then yesterday, she came through the drive thru with her daughter. It was awful. She looked so worn and sick. I pray she doesn't just give up, but would understand if she did.

The third woman was in today. She picked up her meds. Her face is swelled from the treatments, but she looked beautiful! We talked a little, and laughed a lot. She is such a dear.

Another woman I know, and have been praying for good news about, came in the pharmacy today. She said the tests she had came back with the report of cancer. She isn't taking the news very well...who could blame her.

I lost my first husband to leukemia. Ten days before his 26th birthday. My babies were 22 months old, and almost five years. It was a very painful time in my life.

Then in 1996, I had a brain tumor the size of an orange. For years I had struggled with dizzy spells, and horrible headaches. Then the seizures. It was awful! My girls were teens, and I just couldn't imagine them going through the rest of their school years without their mom.

The night the doctors discovered the mass was like a dream. My husband called our pastor and he immediately came to the emergency room and prayed for us. He prayed for the peace that transcends all understanding. My husband and I felt a sense of peace from that very moment, until the surgery.

The surgeon said that I might not make it out of the surgical room..that I could die on the table. I said it was going to be okay. Because if I didn't make it through the surgery, I still lived! And if I survived...I lived!! either way, I won!

The reason for this post is to encourage you that there is a window of hope, no matter what your circumstances. Whatever you are going through, you will be taken care of. No matter what the outcome.

God Bless You.


  1. Debbie - you are such an inspiration, a witness of God's love and strength - to all those customers you service each day. I'm so sure that they treasure the moments they spend with you at the counter. And you're making such a difference in their lives! And you are also a great witness to all of us bloggers and lurkers out here who enjoy peeking in on your home life during the week. You ooze love and joy and peace, dear sister. LOVE U!!